I want it NOW
Dec. 30th, 2003 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightbluegirlOn Christmas eve Andrew downloaded a Nintendo emulator with 126 of the original games.
I've been playing a lot of Zelda. In fact, I've been playing so MUCH Zelda, that my right hand hurts from too much button pressing. Man, I'm a pansy.
I'm a very HAPPY pansy, though.
In other news...
there really isn't that much else going on. I made crepes again last night, and these ones turned out even BETTER than the last ones. A bit thinner, a bit larger... and yes, the first crepe turned out perfectly this time, too.
:D
I know that many people think of New Years Resolutions, but I'm not really that kind of girl. I have written goals that I re-examine and re-write every once in a while. Obviously, once you've been on a path for a while, you know more about what you need to do for your goal, or even if your goal is right for you.
Shortly after Andrew and I got here, we sat down and rewrote our goals for the next year (I've been doing my goals from birthday to birthday for quite some time, so when Andrew came into my life, he started doing it that way as well). As is not like me, the goals were written into books and never displayed or re-examined.
I don't quite know why.
Perhaps it's that my goals have been the same for quite some time:
1) reduce debt
2) reduce fat
3) increase health
4) increase creating time and ability and confidence
5) move toward a more simple and wholistic lifestyle
6) decrease my insensitivity and meanness to others
7) increase my honesty to myself and others
Basically.
With long term goals of:
1) no debt
2) a house
3) a child
4) an organic cafe with vegan and vegetarian options
All which I would like to be accomplished within the next 10 years (i.e. in 10 years my child will be 3 or 4, my cafe will have been open for 2 years, and etc).
I refuse to start 2 or 3 or 4 before 1 is completed.
Sometimes I get so frustrated, because my debt goals don't seem to be going anywhere. I have this increasing sense of my own mortality, and I so desperately do not want to run out of time before getting to do all the things I want to do.
Pragmatically, reducing debt before attempting to buy a house or start a business or raise a child does make sense. Someone with the amount of debt I have is not going to get a mortgage or business loan easily, if at all. Especially since at present I am a contractor, and Andrew is just starting school. And since I'm the major wage earner in the family at present, having a child right now and staying afloat monetarily isn't feasible either.
We are better off than we were this time last year. This time next year, we'll be even BETTER off (assuming no unforseen emergencies), since we won't be moving, and moving is quite expensive. In fact, we moved this year just when we were starting to see results from our careful saving and budgetting and working.
Perhaps what I need to do, then, is continue working, continue budgetting, continue saving, and see how things are looking in the summer, to see if we've improved our situation moreso than it was last summer. (As long as we stay on budget!)
I am, unfortunately, a product of my society, and I want what I want, and I want it NOW.
I've been playing a lot of Zelda. In fact, I've been playing so MUCH Zelda, that my right hand hurts from too much button pressing. Man, I'm a pansy.
I'm a very HAPPY pansy, though.
In other news...
there really isn't that much else going on. I made crepes again last night, and these ones turned out even BETTER than the last ones. A bit thinner, a bit larger... and yes, the first crepe turned out perfectly this time, too.
:D
I know that many people think of New Years Resolutions, but I'm not really that kind of girl. I have written goals that I re-examine and re-write every once in a while. Obviously, once you've been on a path for a while, you know more about what you need to do for your goal, or even if your goal is right for you.
Shortly after Andrew and I got here, we sat down and rewrote our goals for the next year (I've been doing my goals from birthday to birthday for quite some time, so when Andrew came into my life, he started doing it that way as well). As is not like me, the goals were written into books and never displayed or re-examined.
I don't quite know why.
Perhaps it's that my goals have been the same for quite some time:
1) reduce debt
2) reduce fat
3) increase health
4) increase creating time and ability and confidence
5) move toward a more simple and wholistic lifestyle
6) decrease my insensitivity and meanness to others
7) increase my honesty to myself and others
Basically.
With long term goals of:
1) no debt
2) a house
3) a child
4) an organic cafe with vegan and vegetarian options
All which I would like to be accomplished within the next 10 years (i.e. in 10 years my child will be 3 or 4, my cafe will have been open for 2 years, and etc).
I refuse to start 2 or 3 or 4 before 1 is completed.
Sometimes I get so frustrated, because my debt goals don't seem to be going anywhere. I have this increasing sense of my own mortality, and I so desperately do not want to run out of time before getting to do all the things I want to do.
Pragmatically, reducing debt before attempting to buy a house or start a business or raise a child does make sense. Someone with the amount of debt I have is not going to get a mortgage or business loan easily, if at all. Especially since at present I am a contractor, and Andrew is just starting school. And since I'm the major wage earner in the family at present, having a child right now and staying afloat monetarily isn't feasible either.
We are better off than we were this time last year. This time next year, we'll be even BETTER off (assuming no unforseen emergencies), since we won't be moving, and moving is quite expensive. In fact, we moved this year just when we were starting to see results from our careful saving and budgetting and working.
Perhaps what I need to do, then, is continue working, continue budgetting, continue saving, and see how things are looking in the summer, to see if we've improved our situation moreso than it was last summer. (As long as we stay on budget!)
I am, unfortunately, a product of my society, and I want what I want, and I want it NOW.
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no subject
Date: 2003-12-30 12:55 pm (UTC)So, I'm not sure you should keep 1, 2, 3, 4 in order. Being in debt isn't so bad ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-30 01:21 pm (UTC)To be realistic, I'll probably think about it more once Andrew gets his first career job. That's still years away - after he finishes school (if he starts full time in September of 2005, he'll be done in May of 2008 and hopefully will have something career wise by January 2009 - that's the latest that will happen, we hope) - that's still 5 years away, and the important thing is that we need for him to have that little bit more of stability and monetary reward that a 'professional' job has, to support the family.
So really, maybe I should rethink my debt reduction timeline to coincide with his school finishing timeline... that could help reduce my intense feelings of immediacy, and let me enjoy the next couple of years more.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-30 01:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-30 01:45 pm (UTC)I wonder if I can do it from work? I'll have to refigure out all the financial stuff... Hmmmmmmm.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-30 03:22 pm (UTC)i'm still trying desperately to ignore that desire