eat this

[brightbluegirl]

I know now the reason why I overeat.

I overeat from rebellion. When I am overly restricted, when I feel people are unfairly telling me what to do, and telling me what NOT to do, I eat. I eat as if to say
"oh YEAH? well look, I'm eating. I can make THIS choice, at least. You can't make me stop."

It's been a really bad day.

I'm still having dim sum tomorrow.

It really sucks that I can eat 1500 calories and do 1 hr cardio and not lose weight. It really sucks that if I take a full time position we'll keep struggling for several more months. It really sucks that it's so hard to please people with our ceremony plans, and that people are taking for granted the fact that I'm TRYING to make our plans conform to their wishes. It really sucks that people are going back on their original statements. I am really. tired. And Angry. But mostly tired.

Comments

hey

[fanlain.livejournal.com]

*hug*

i hope things go better for you and that you're able to keep it an "our" day and not a "their" day...

[malaka.livejournal.com]

I understand. I understand. I just try to focus on the things that are right, that I am fortunate in so many other ways. I get upset that it's not fair that I have to eat very little and work so hard just to not gain weight. I have to tell myself that this seems like such a big deal to me, but in reality it is so minor. We are very fortunate, right?

As for your day, who is upset? What are they saying? Isn't it easy to just say "I really want you to participate in this very important day in my life, but it is going to be the way I want it, because you've had your day and this one is mine?" Ok, so I know it's not.. but don't try to please anyone but yourself, at least not for this one occassion.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I figured you'd understand. I'm going to try shaking it up for awhile and see what happens.

Ah, it's been coming from all corners. I cried and talked to Andrew about it today, because a lot of it is primarily his family. He's going to work on talking to them.

In good news, the personal stuff, like ring shopping, is wonderful and lots of fun. It's just finding a venue, which, every time I think I find one, someone says it's bad and I should try somewhere else instead...

It will pass. But if he doesn't fix this problem with his family soon, I will be telling them off - which might be bad for familial relations but which will feel good in the moment!

[blowtorch-betty.livejournal.com]

Your reasons for overeating are exactly the same reasons why I used to not eat at all. Now you know you're really sabotaging yourself when you think you're asserting yourself you can start to turn it around.

As for the food and exercise, Eat more food and lift more weights. The cardio/dieting treadmill will wear you out before you reach your goals, it's a trap. Are you a member of the gymrats community? They're an immensely helpful bunch.

It's your ceremony, not theirs. Maybe if you were more assertive where it matters you might not overeat so much? I'm mostly just guessing here but it worked for me.

You seem like a very strong person, most people are negatively motivated by fear, your hurdle seems to be guilt. You can't please everyone and it's your day so try to at least please youself :)

They don't get to change their minds, it's not about them it's about you and if they can't see that then they're being selfish and they're not going to be happy no matter what you do!

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

I do lift weights, however I've found it hard to put both cardio and weights into my life as often as I'd like to do them. For awhile, I was focussing on nightly cardio because I love lifting weights and tend to neglect cardio for lifting. I think, though, that I'm going to try drastically changing my workout routine for awhile, to add in more lifting.

I am quite assertive about most things. And I rarely overeat - in fact, this weekend is the first time in years I've regressed to that point. Part of the problem, I expressed to Andrew tearfully today, is that he's not being assertive to HIS family, and allowing them to change our plans farther and farther away from what I want, and then I end up struggling to try to get something closer to what I want, all over again, feeling like I'm carrying a mountain around on my shoulders and people keep bringing me more dirt to carry.

Yes, my hurdle is definitely guilt. I'm working on it, but that one keeps coming back and kicking me in the ass.

[blowtorch-betty.livejournal.com]

More lifting! More lifting! Join gymrats!

Okay, I'm done :)

The fact that you're usually assertive is likely the thing that makes the lack of control in this situation so unbearable.

What was andrews reaction to the discussion?

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

He was really positive. He agreed that he had been letting things get out of hand, and he wrote them an email (which we haven't yet gotten a response to) trying to get things straightened out. He felt horrible that he'd added to my stress level. He's awesome that way. :-)

[robotics-girl.livejournal.com]

peopel seem to assume for some reason that other peoples eating habits are their business. When it's so clearly not.
I hadn't eaten all day once and was working at school from ten am till about 11pm and so grabbed a bag of chips on the way home. This enormously greesy fat old man looked at me and said "you shouldn't eat those you're going to gain weight". I couldn't believe the nerve.
I looked directly at him and said fuck you, took another bite and kept walking.
People are assholes. They think it's thier buisness to either make sure that you're eating to be healthy if they know you or are not eating so much that you can't obtain societies fucked up standards on food and beauty.
This just goes to show why people suck.

[thetamermaid.livejournal.com]

two small points.
one - your body shape can change a lot (for the better or worse) without any significant weight change. it's made me think that we overemphasize weight instead of focusing on health. i'm really proud of you for coming so far with the changes you want to make to your body. i'm even more impressed that you're going to be doing that run for your work. make sure that you keep everything in context, especially on such a bad day.
two - it's really hard to screw up a wedding/ceremony. the one thing you need is that participants have an idea of how much you two care for each other, how good you are to each other and that you want to stay together. that's the hard part, and, as i see it, it's already taken care of. everything else will fall into place in time.

drew's girlfriend was telling a story last night about her good friend's wedding. it seems that the father of the groom was officiating at the ceremony and he switched the vows from what had been planned to having her say serve&obey or some shite like that... lesson for the day: don't let anyone in the direct family officiate.
more general lesson: never forget your sense of humour at home. sometimes you can't get by without it.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

re: body shape and body weight - you are absolutely right, and I'd forgotten that for a moment.

There will not be anyone officiating. :-) Just him and me. If things don't get better, to hell with the family at all. ;P