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brightbluegirlIf anyone is interested in buying Andrew and I a present to commemorate our commitment to life together, and is looking for ideas:
We need a new copy of The Last Dragon.
Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon, to be precise.
My vhs copy is starting to wear out, and I MUST have this movie for the rest of my life. I'm sure Andrew is amazed that I watch it so often and never get tired of it. I adore this movie. In fact, I believe I've convinced most of my friends to watch it with me, at one point or another.
It's a silly, tacky, cheezy as hell, foolish tale about a martial arts lad named Bruce Leroy (yes, that's Bruce LEEroy), in Harlem, who fights a baddie named ShoNuff ("Who's the Mastah?" "SHO NUFF!"), hired by the meanest video game baron you EVER did see, so he can get the girl. Almost every actor in this movie has only one name. (i.e. Taimak, Vanity)
I watched it again on the weekend. It got me through two workouts. I still gasp at certain parts, and laugh at others. I love this movie so much. *sigh* I am SUCH a dork.
So should you happen upon it in vhs or dvd, I'd be mightily obliged to you.
I love not living in Ontario. Yes, I miss my friends and family, but damn. When we went out into the lovely spring-like weather on the weekend, we discovered crocuses growing in the empty lot next to our apartment. I took a picture, and if I remember, I will post a link to it later when I get home.
But really. Spring in February? Everyone in Texas is already talking about it, but I'm not used to it. It'll still be gross and wintery for a month, or close to it, anyway, in Ontario. Here, it's been nice-ish for the whole winter, minus a couple of weeks around New Years.
I can dig it.
I've been thinking about ill will. Specifically, about the hurt to my soul to have ill will to others.
I thought of it, because there is a person I'm not speaking to, that I was thinking of sending an email to, just to say "Hey, I've been thinking about you and I hope you're in a good place."
And it's true.
So I've been thinking about it. And I've come to the conclusion that yes, I do not feel ill will towards anyone I've fallen out with - not even Alex, who has done horrible things. I don't trust those people, and for some, it would take several deep, truly introspective conversations (more than likely initiated by them), along with a long time of seeing how they handled themselves and our relationship in both good and bad times, before I would be able to start to trust them. For others, I believe I'll never trust them again, and I still believe that there's nothing wrong in choosing to not have that person ever in my life again, just as a safety measure.
Sometimes, it doesn't matter how much you've changed, you have to deal with the fact that you fucked someone up, and they'll never trust you again. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with them - it means you need to take responsibility, learn from your mistakes, and move on.
But anyway. I guess the point is that I don't hate any of the people I've fallen out with over the years. I don't assume they're the same person they were when we fell out, I don't assume they've changed. I don't hope they get hurt, I wouldn't laugh if they got hurt, I would help them, if I could. I wish them true happiness and delight in everything they do.
Can you dig it?
We need a new copy of The Last Dragon.
Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon, to be precise.
My vhs copy is starting to wear out, and I MUST have this movie for the rest of my life. I'm sure Andrew is amazed that I watch it so often and never get tired of it. I adore this movie. In fact, I believe I've convinced most of my friends to watch it with me, at one point or another.
It's a silly, tacky, cheezy as hell, foolish tale about a martial arts lad named Bruce Leroy (yes, that's Bruce LEEroy), in Harlem, who fights a baddie named ShoNuff ("Who's the Mastah?" "SHO NUFF!"), hired by the meanest video game baron you EVER did see, so he can get the girl. Almost every actor in this movie has only one name. (i.e. Taimak, Vanity)
I watched it again on the weekend. It got me through two workouts. I still gasp at certain parts, and laugh at others. I love this movie so much. *sigh* I am SUCH a dork.
So should you happen upon it in vhs or dvd, I'd be mightily obliged to you.
I love not living in Ontario. Yes, I miss my friends and family, but damn. When we went out into the lovely spring-like weather on the weekend, we discovered crocuses growing in the empty lot next to our apartment. I took a picture, and if I remember, I will post a link to it later when I get home.
But really. Spring in February? Everyone in Texas is already talking about it, but I'm not used to it. It'll still be gross and wintery for a month, or close to it, anyway, in Ontario. Here, it's been nice-ish for the whole winter, minus a couple of weeks around New Years.
I can dig it.
I've been thinking about ill will. Specifically, about the hurt to my soul to have ill will to others.
I thought of it, because there is a person I'm not speaking to, that I was thinking of sending an email to, just to say "Hey, I've been thinking about you and I hope you're in a good place."
And it's true.
So I've been thinking about it. And I've come to the conclusion that yes, I do not feel ill will towards anyone I've fallen out with - not even Alex, who has done horrible things. I don't trust those people, and for some, it would take several deep, truly introspective conversations (more than likely initiated by them), along with a long time of seeing how they handled themselves and our relationship in both good and bad times, before I would be able to start to trust them. For others, I believe I'll never trust them again, and I still believe that there's nothing wrong in choosing to not have that person ever in my life again, just as a safety measure.
Sometimes, it doesn't matter how much you've changed, you have to deal with the fact that you fucked someone up, and they'll never trust you again. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with them - it means you need to take responsibility, learn from your mistakes, and move on.
But anyway. I guess the point is that I don't hate any of the people I've fallen out with over the years. I don't assume they're the same person they were when we fell out, I don't assume they've changed. I don't hope they get hurt, I wouldn't laugh if they got hurt, I would help them, if I could. I wish them true happiness and delight in everything they do.
Can you dig it?
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 05:02 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 07:36 pm (UTC)Just as long as everyone knows I don't expect presents, and will be ecstatic to just have people with me.
love,
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 10:26 pm (UTC)I'm also a little scared that I'd get a shit storm in return, and I don't think I'm in a good place to hear that right now.