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brightbluegirlI biked to work this morning, in the misty rain. It was delightful. The skies were gray, the trees leafless, and my ears were cold.
So why was it delightful?
Because it reminded me of home.
Something that I wrote earlier was misunderstood, so I'm clarifying - not everyone gets to know everything about what I am feeling. Those who I don't trust, stay that way until they prove I can trust them - I'm not going to open myself up to them and see if they hurt me.
I didn't appreciate being told to communicate - it felt condescending, and the helpful comments were made without full knowledge of what was going on.
I know he was just trying to help, but he just made me more angry.
Tonight we're going to sushi and Harry Potter with our next door neighbours.
Our next door neighbours are cool.
He writes porn scripts and porn letters to finance his living situation while he writes "real" scripts and novels. So he's home all day.
She has an infatuation with spam, so she makes spam appetizers - "spooshi" (sushi made from spam) and "spigs in a blanket" (spam wrapped in pillsbury things).
They're fun to talk to, and they're approximately our age. I think.
So tonight - sushi (NOT spooshi), and Harry Potter. woohoo!
I thought a lot last night about people who are important vs those who are not, and what is really important in life, and movie stars.
The way I figure it - it doesn't matter if you influence the world, because we ALL influence the world, on some level. Yes, if a butterfly coughs, it changes the world.
A movie star isn't more important than a janitor - as long as they both do their job well, they're both important (bear with me - I already knew this, but it fits in with the rest of it).
So the quality (to others) of my art doesn't matter, how good my book is doesn't matter, or even if it ever gets published. If I never sell a piece of art - that doesn't matter. If I keep working as a tech, or in software - that doesn't matter.
So what matters?
How I live my life. How I treat my friends. The things I talk about with people. The love I share with people. My inherent kindness.
It doesn't even matter if any of those things are original, as long as they're innately good.
And, if through being myself, my normal, "boring", kind, loving self, I induce another person to revel in their normalness, to be kind and loving, I HAVE changed the world.
And eventually, the whole world will be full of people who realize that striving for greatness is just a form of greed. And that greed causes hunger, war, and strife.
Because we're born great. And being even superficially like someone else doesn't make us any less great. Or less unique.
No matter if each of your attributes can be found in someone else, no one else has the combination of attributes that you do. We're each unique.
So we're each unique and we're each great.
Although, if I think about it, that means that certain jobs ARE more important than others. Those jobs that revolve around affecting people. Like a therapist.
All the more reason for me to become one.
Now I've lost my train of thought. Oooh, look! That dog has a fluffy tail!...
So why was it delightful?
Because it reminded me of home.
Something that I wrote earlier was misunderstood, so I'm clarifying - not everyone gets to know everything about what I am feeling. Those who I don't trust, stay that way until they prove I can trust them - I'm not going to open myself up to them and see if they hurt me.
I didn't appreciate being told to communicate - it felt condescending, and the helpful comments were made without full knowledge of what was going on.
I know he was just trying to help, but he just made me more angry.
Tonight we're going to sushi and Harry Potter with our next door neighbours.
Our next door neighbours are cool.
He writes porn scripts and porn letters to finance his living situation while he writes "real" scripts and novels. So he's home all day.
She has an infatuation with spam, so she makes spam appetizers - "spooshi" (sushi made from spam) and "spigs in a blanket" (spam wrapped in pillsbury things).
They're fun to talk to, and they're approximately our age. I think.
So tonight - sushi (NOT spooshi), and Harry Potter. woohoo!
I thought a lot last night about people who are important vs those who are not, and what is really important in life, and movie stars.
The way I figure it - it doesn't matter if you influence the world, because we ALL influence the world, on some level. Yes, if a butterfly coughs, it changes the world.
A movie star isn't more important than a janitor - as long as they both do their job well, they're both important (bear with me - I already knew this, but it fits in with the rest of it).
So the quality (to others) of my art doesn't matter, how good my book is doesn't matter, or even if it ever gets published. If I never sell a piece of art - that doesn't matter. If I keep working as a tech, or in software - that doesn't matter.
So what matters?
How I live my life. How I treat my friends. The things I talk about with people. The love I share with people. My inherent kindness.
It doesn't even matter if any of those things are original, as long as they're innately good.
And, if through being myself, my normal, "boring", kind, loving self, I induce another person to revel in their normalness, to be kind and loving, I HAVE changed the world.
And eventually, the whole world will be full of people who realize that striving for greatness is just a form of greed. And that greed causes hunger, war, and strife.
Because we're born great. And being even superficially like someone else doesn't make us any less great. Or less unique.
No matter if each of your attributes can be found in someone else, no one else has the combination of attributes that you do. We're each unique.
So we're each unique and we're each great.
Although, if I think about it, that means that certain jobs ARE more important than others. Those jobs that revolve around affecting people. Like a therapist.
All the more reason for me to become one.
Now I've lost my train of thought. Oooh, look! That dog has a fluffy tail!...
