Jumbled Impressions... take as you will

[brightbluegirl]

My mother has 4 brothers. Let's call them The Gambler, The Joker, The Biker, and NoShow.

NoShow apparently came to visit every once in a while, but never when I was in the hospital.

The Joker was there a lot. He took care of Granpa, he kept him calm, took him for drives when he was feeling antsy, kept him fed and got him to sleep, and stayed with him at home during the night so he didn't feel totally lonely, and to make sure he didn't need anything. He was great. And it was good to see him.

The Gambler flew in from Alberta, and got there Thursday morning, the day after I got in. Once there, he took over for The Joker to take care of his dad, so the Joker could get back to his wife, who had been yelling at him for not coming home. The first day, the Gambler was good to see. After that, he just got grumpier and grumpier.

The Biker is a Hells Angel. Tattoos on the backs of his hands, the graying ponytail, jeans and "Free Frank" t-shirt. He's also quite slow. I don't remember him being this slow, but he is. Not a bright man. The black sheep of the family, he's got a 2 1/2 year old son, and no-one likes the mother. I heard quite a few statements from "the boys" about his lifestyle and how they disagreed with it. He stayed with Granma on Tuesday night (right after the seizures, when my mother couldn't get there), and showed up Wednesday night to stay with her again, but because my mother was there (and they DONT get along), stayed for only 1/2 hour.

Granpa was broken up a lot of the time, and got little sleep. They've been married 57 years, and he refers to her as part of his body. I saw him cry a lot of times. And I talked to him more than I think I have over several years. He's not usually the talker.

Speaking of which, I noticed that everyone in my mother's side of the family likes to talk. MAN, do they talk. I mean, dude, BREATHE every once in a while. I guess that's where I get it from. Heh.

My mother stayed by granma's side the whole time. She held her hand for hours on end, she monitored her breathing, wiped her face, wet her lips, fed her water, fought the doctors on her behalf... later, as granma was doing better, she helped her walk, slept beside her in the hospital bed, kept fighting the doctors, and was my granma's protector. She was amazing, really. My granma must have felt so safe and loved.

My brother had been there for days before I got there. He took the bus from Edmonton, (so, a 50 or so hour trip), and got there on Saturday. He was very helpful to my mom to begin with, but by the time I got there, he'd had it with her, and I heard a lot of complaints. A lot of the time he said he was going to leave, just grab a bus and go to my Dad's. He couldn't handle her in her exhausted, wired, stressed state any more. But I was there, and that seemed to do the trick for him. He just needed to vent, and to have the break that my appearance afforded him.

My family.

We pulled together like we never have before, it was amazing. We didn't fight, we communicated, and although sometimes the communication was frustrating (particularly between my mother, brother, and myself), we were also able to communicate our understanding of each other's actions. It was incredible, some of the stuff my mother said I've needed to hear my entire life, and thought she would never understand.

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Wednesday night, with Granma sleeping, my mother, brother, The Joker, and grandfather went to my grandparents place for a while. For a while it was hectic. The Joker wanted to go grocery shopping and kept asking people what they wanted. My mother was afraid she had a blood clot, so I had to call the telephone nurse people to get their opinion. That took forever, because they wanted to make a chart and she was lying down and I had to keep running into the other room to ask her questions, but she refused to talk to them, and I didn't mind doing it, but the guy I was talking to got snippy... anyway, he thought she should go see a doctor within 4 hours. From what searching my brother had done online, we thought it was just a varicose vein - I mean, she'd been sitting and standing for weeks, not much lying down at all!

So after I got off the phone, it all calmed down a little. I gave my mother a massage, the boys sat and watched tv with Granpa, it was better.

Anyway, she never did go to the doctor, because when we called to hospital later to see how granma was doing, the nurses said they wanted to move her to a regular ward, so my mother went back to the hospital to be with her so she wouldn't be frightened. We kids trooped along to be her backup.

My mother rested in the bed next to Granma that evening, but didn't get much sleep. She was so frazzled she forgot where we kids where, and couldn't find us. Unfortunate for her, but fortunate for us. As a result, we got quite a bit more rest than expected. My brother stretched out on a couch and chair combo, and I pulled two chairs together and curled up for the evening.

More later - this has become more detailed than I planned