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[brightbluegirl]

I've been really down on myself lately, really low down harsh and painful to myself.

Someone compliments me on my jam? "ah, it's a foolproof recipe"

Everything, it seems, has got me down. I'm upset about how much I'm (not) producing at work, I'm upset about my food intake, I'm upset about our budget, I'm upset about my prioritizing, I'm upset about everything.

When the reality is, I've got a good home, with a good man, we've got plans, he's trying hard, I'm trying hard, and all we can do is our best.

It's just that, I'm convinced what we're doing isn't actually our best. I should be able to work out more, save more, work more, try harder.

You know.

In other, good news, I forgot to mention that my brother is back. He got back Monday morning, earlier than he'd expected. He had a whole bunch of freaky things happen in one day, and that day made him decide he'd had enough. I'm glad he's back... he's going to hitch-hike back to Edmonton soon, but I've asked him to stay awhile. He really needs a rest, and I like having him around. So far, I'm bribing him with food. I told him if he stays around at least until Thursday morning, I'll make spinach crepes for dinner on Wednesday night. It worked. Heh.

Plus, he keeps liking the food we serve him. I like the ego-boost.

Comments

[estrojenn.livejournal.com]

i know how crappy it feels to be down on yourself. i always wonder why people can be so nice to others and not to themselves. i havent figured it though, obviously, because i am my own worst critic.

im glad your brother is back and ok.

[robotics-girl.livejournal.com]

sweety you're such an active, proactive accomplished person. You just take too much on yourself. You can't possibly do twenty different things to the best of your ability, only one or two things, and minimum effort on the rest, assuming you even still have the energy for it. It's not that you're not trying hard enough, it's just that your human, and humans get tired and have a limited amount of time and resourses.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

thanks sweets.

I keep trying to email you our address, but fastmail bounces it back and says your mailbox is full!

[robotics-girl.livejournal.com]

ok send it to Tess_LaCoil@hotmail.com instead then.
fastmail is not full it's just being a bitch.

anyway take care pretty girl. i miss you a fuck tone

[thetamermaid.livejournal.com]

take good care beautiful.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

you too, precious j.