beat me

[brightbluegirl]

So far, so good.

Today I have made sugar-free strawberry jam, and a whole whack of spiced plum jelly. They look GREAT. The jellies are popping behind me as I type. :D

Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time grocery shopping, looking for deals and such. It meant trekking all over commercial drive (in the rain, without my umbrella, but, who cares, really?), and backtracking sometimes, too. I went to the Superstore, looking for cheap natural peanut butter in large amounts, and looking for cheap maple syrup in large amounts, but found neither. I did find 2kg of peanut butter without sugar, though, so I grabbed that and we'll see if it's ok. I also got 1 kg of walnuts for $8.70. What with the fruits and veggies I got at Commerical Drive, I trekked many many pounds of stuff home.

Hooray for unanticipated workouts. :P

Anyway, today we actually SLEPT IN. I woke up at 7, and had 10 or 15 minutes of restlessness, but I did get back to sleep, and I'm really glad I did.

Later today, I'm going to make some more pesto. I'm probably going to make dinner, and a corn-barley salad for lunches for this week, too. I haven't decided what to make for dinner, though. Mushroom curry? Maybe. Szechuan Eggplant? Possibly... or I might just through together a fried tofu and swiss chard thing...

Hmmm.

---

I had a dream, night before last, that had an old friend of mine from high school. When I woke up, I looked her up online and emailed her. I got a response... she's exactly my age (her birthday is the same month as mine), and she's been married 3 1/2 years, and has a 4 1/2 month old son. She's living "in the woods" in her words, with 2 labradors, and she's a stay at home mom - at least for now, possibly for good.

I'm SO JEALOUS.

And not only that, but I spent most of yesterday beating myself up over it, because I've obviously "fucked up" somewhere in life, that I don't have all that yet.

I'm not QUITE as angry at myself today, but I still feel stupid. Like I haven't figured something out that everybody else has.

Comments

[asimplelife.livejournal.com]

I beat myself up like that all the time. If it wasn't for my debt...if I had only done this...if I had only done that...

Really, not much I can do about. So I try and make myself stop as soon as possible.

<3

BTW - I am in Vancouver next Sunday and then back the following weekend =) I am surprising Anita. Gregg and I are going to arrange a surprise din-din Sunday and she won't know I am going to be there =)

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

You're going to be HERE?????

Will you have time to see me?? I haven't had a chance to meet up with Gregg and Anita, yet, and that might help speed those types of things along...

oooh boy oh boy oh boy!!!

[asimplelife.livejournal.com]

Methinks the first Sunday [the 5th] will probably be just be dinner with them BUT I am back the following Sunday [& Monday? I have to check...me no remember] and I think that would be an awesome time for us to all get together for a drink/food or whatever =)

I will check the schedule tonight and let you know.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

Ok, so I am confused... you are coming here for a day, and then going home, and then coming back for a day or two? Explain me?

[asimplelife.livejournal.com]

HA HA. No, I am getting on an Alaskan cruise that starts in Vancouver, ends in Alaska and then I fly back to Van for a day or two :P

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

Ah, this ties in to the Alaska cruise! Cool!! I can't wait to hear all about it!!!

[asimplelife.livejournal.com]

Nods! I will check out the details ov our schedule and get back to you to see if you are free for a little Tara-time =)

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

I will MAKE myself be free for Tara-time!

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

But I mean, they're not nearly as important, I mean, I want to see YOU!!! (In case you thought I just wanted to see you so I could meet them. I am dum!)

[asimplelife.livejournal.com]

Ha ha no worries luverly =)

[estrojenn.livejournal.com]

you know maple syrup is pure sugar, right? i only mention it because i know you dont eat sugar...and a lot of people dont realize thats what maple syrup is.

also

everyone has a different path and yours is the right one for your life. you cant judge your life by comparing it to the lives of other people. often the lives we are jealous of have elements you will never see or hear about that you would not be so envious of.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not quite as hard core as you are. :) I don't eat any cane sugar. White, brown, demerara, etc. But I do eat maple syrup, because it's not from the sugar cane. We get a less refined maple syrup (And of course, don't get fake syrups) than most people. I also use fructose for sweetening when I absolutely need a dry sweetener. I also, now, have that great book I got the blueberry pie from (did you try it?).

Because it's not sugar cane, and because it's not refined the same way (or as much), my body doesn't react poorly to it. So I'm ok with eating maple syrup and fructose.

I hear you about the jealousy thing. I wasn't that jealous, so much as wanting what I haven't got yet. It passed. I do enjoy our life, and I don't want to look forward so much that I miss out on right now. I just have moments... you know?