yikes

[brightbluegirl]

I'm so glad this is my last day at work this week!

It's been a really good week, work-out wise. This morning we watched Indiana Jones (the second movie) while I did the BP. I'm working hard - doing larger weights than I would if I were doing 3 sets, so hopefully, next week when I move up to 3 sets, my muscles will be ready to do them at the higher weight.

It feels good to be working out regularly again.

Work has been... work. Let's move on.

I have a doctor now, which is great. A nice female doctor, I met her yesterday, and she gave me a prescription for massage therapy (woohoo!!), so my health insurance will cover it, and renewed my birth control pills. I'll be going back in the middle of the month for a full physical.

She was very nice, looked me in the eye while I was speaking, seemed to really pay attention to me and deal with me on an equal to equal basis. I won't be going there often, since I'm usually a very healthy person, but it's nice to have a rapport with someone who's going to be sticking her hand up my girly parts.

So yeah.

I feel like I actually live here now!

Last night, Andrew's mother came over for dinner. She almost made me cry (in a good way), when she brought me a huge container of blackberries THAT SHE'D PICKED HERSELF, 3 containers of cherries (in case I want to make some pie), the aforementioned 20 lbs of pears, and a jelly-making contraption THAT USED TO BE HER MOTHERS. Yeah.

So yeah. That was really sweet.

Anyway, we went for dinner, had a lovely time, and then came back to our place, where we sat and talked and drank tea.

And I had this FLASH. I don't know how to describe it, but it was this odd translation of being, like, I looked at her on the couch, I listened to our easy-going, friendly conversation, I felt my stress level (low), and I thought:

"this is how it is for other people. this is 'normal' life as an adult"

And I'm shocked and amazed. Shocked that my family is so extremely different - I mean, every moment with my mother is high stress and fraught with difficulty. Every... oh, I just can't get into it, it's too sad, this life I had, vs this amazing life I have now.

Is it bad, then, that in a way, I'm looking forward to when my mother is dead?

Comments

[pennycuts.livejournal.com]

I hear ya about the doc thing. i got a new doc... 2 yrs ago and its such a relief to have someone who just looks at you and listens rather than the old rushed man i had before.

I'm trying the new birth control patch next cycle , i cant wait:)

[tedshubris.livejournal.com]

Back when I was a student, I had to read a book called "the 36 hour day" that was about how to deal with a parent that has dementia, and you're caring for them, and what a burden it can be. What you said struck me as resembling this one part really closely, where it was talking about when the person you were caring for dies. Several of the people said they felt "relieved" and in some way happy, but felt really really guilty about feeling that way. So I guess the bottom line is just to hope your mother never gets alzheimers and needs to move in with you and Andrew for home care.