brightbluegirl

Oh where shall I start, jiggity jog...

I guess...

My mother is a wonderful, sweet, caring human being. She cares for me a LOT. She likes Andrew. She means well.

But I'm glad the week is done.

I think yesterday sums it up - she didn't want to go to Santa Fe, she wanted to go to the mall.

So we

Went.

To.

The.

Mall.

And we were there for 4 hours. She bought earrings (3 pairs) and purses (3 of them). She tried on some clothes, and I got to hear about how "at her age" she had to be careful about Point A and Point B and etc. And how "at her age" she couldn't wear certain clothing. She found a sweater she LOVED but it was from a big girls store and she's petite (which to me, made for a really cute and comfy looking big sweater), so she refused to buy it, even though it looked really good on her "because it would make her feel bad".

I could go on.

In fact, I will.

We made an attempt to get sushi-quality fish (but the store I was told to go to didn't have any), and then we drove Andrew to work and then we went home.

The evening was nice - but she really didn't talk to me much. She's had more real conversations with Andrew than she has with me.

We watched You've Got Mail. Oh my god.

It's this horrifying "romance" movie about the woman who runs a little bookstore, and it's crushed by a big bookstore, and the man who runs the big bookstore is the man she eventually falls in love with. What it says about big business vs little business is terrible, and the fact that it's a HUGE ADVERTISEMENT for Starbucks and Aol... well, anyway. She thinks it's a sweet movie.

I like romances. I can be as shamefully romantic as the rest of them. But this one didn't even make sense. They just threw Meg fucking Ryan and Tom fucking Hanks into a 2 hour long advertisement and waited to see what would happen.

Ack. Bleh. Ick.

My mother is a sweet, wonderful, loving human being. She loves me very much. She wants me to be happy. She is terrific in those ways.

aarrrrrrggghhh.......

Andrew took her to the airport this morning. I had to work. It's good that I was here, because even with me here, we got MASSACRED. I mean really. It was horrible. It's calmed down some, now. But anyway. He told me that she said that someone like him was really good for me, because I'm "a lot like my father" and I get snappy and irritated sometimes, and because Andrew is gentle and kind, that'll help.

Well. My mother gets snappy and irritated too. I'm not just "like my father" in that regard. I'm like her. I hate when people act like they're being all insightful about other people, when they aren't being honest with themselves about a certain thing.

She also told him that she can't understand why I'm not a relaxed adult, because I was such a relaxed child. Well, hmm, let's see. It might be that every time I sat down to read or watch tv or daydream (as any child does), I got a smack and a "get off your lazy ass and do something!"

Dammit all to hell.

Anyway.

Everything included, this visit went really really well. This is just normal venting. Andrew and I are both glad she's gone, and I'm looking forward to my life getting back to normal. I'm looking forward to having the house to ourselves again, to having no horrid smoke smell in the house (she smudged 2 more times on Friday, and I had to put my foot down and say "NO MORE the house smells like burning!" - oh, Janie - Smudging is when you take a stick of sage that's been all twisted together, light it, and then waft the smoke everwhere - so she ONLY smudged her room, say... every freaking day. But it was just her room. So the smell of burning was only over part of the house), to being able to be me. To not be walking on eggshells about her conservative beliefs and how she tries to push them on me. To just be. To have a lovely relationship with my mother. From afar.

It was a lovely visit. My mother had a great time, and overall, so did we. It was an affirming visit, in a lot of ways. My mother is a wonderful, caring, sweet, loving human being who loves me very much, and it was very nice to be around that.