starts with chai, ends with rice pudding

[brightbluegirl]

A morning cup of chai is delish.

I was talking to sabyorange last night and said that I'm spoiled for food... one of the reasons that when going out to eat, I like to go out for exotic foods is that if it's something I can make at home, I probably like my version better.

My chai, for example, has peppermint tea mixed with the darjeeling. And of course the requisite cloves, cardamom, pepper, cinnamon, and ginger. And sometimes fennel, if I'm feeling feisty.

Mmmmmm chai.

---

Last night sabyorange and kirithebrave came over and we hung out a bit, and it was lovely. They even indulged my American Idol fixation! Although, to be fair... mostly it sucked.

I had a moment of intense frustration though, which shocked them. I don't know where it came from. Could a cleanse bring that out?? I don't know. I blamed it on the caffiene in the chai, and let it go, and I apologized to Andrew once they left, but... I don't know.

So here's the scene.

We're about to play cards. I'm explaining the rules to Saby. I make a crack about "and you put n-1 of this card on n cards of these other cards" and she says "n-1, n, what?" and I say "yeah, I'm a math geek. what I mean is..."

And Andrew jumped in and started to talk over me to explain it.

And I JUMPED DOWN HIS THROAT.

I *hate* that.

Do I not exist?? Am I not right here? Did you not HEAR ME STARTING TO EXPLAIN IT???

I *hate* that. I feel so invalidated and disrespected and unheard and everything when that happens. So I was harsh and said "I'M EXPLAINING IT!!!"

And Saby said "ooooookay"

Anyway, it's not that I thought Andrew disrespects me or any of those things, obviously he was just excited and trying to help and be kind and explain it, I mean, anyone who's even HEARD about Andrew knows that's what he's like.

But my button was pushed, and I reacted without thinking.

I haven't done THAT in a while, I'll tell ya.

Anyway, I apologized to him, but I would just like to know where that extreme reaction came from. That sort of behaviour is OLD for me. Ancient history.

---

I don't want to leave the apartment today. *sigh*

Our kittens need to be looked after - litter changed, fed and watered. And my plants need to be watered and sprayed. Andrew is working today, and he SAID he'd do it, and it's only a 15 min bus ride home for him, but but but...

I feel like *I* ought to! It's not like I have anything else to do.

Plus, I can use our weight machine to work out.

And if Andrew can come directly home after work, then we'll have more time in the evening, and we can actually go for a swim together.

But.

I don't want to leave the apartment. *sigh*

I'm so lazy. No one believes me. When I say that I'm inherently a lazy person, that I *like* just reading and relaxing all day, no one buys it. "Oh yes." they laugh "you're so lazy you made a 5 course meal while cleaning the apartment, making a new budget, and working on a sewing project." "Oh yes" "you're VERY lazy"

*sigh*

They don't understand... it's easier to stay in motion once you ARE in motion. A hell of a lot harder to START when you AREN'T.

*sigh*

Anyway, Andrew says he's ok with it, but I SHOULD. But I don't want to. I don't want to trek 75 min on transit to our place, so that I can check up on the cats, make myself work out, and then trek 75 min back.

*WHINE WHINE WHINE*

---

In other news, I made a rice pudding last night that is sooo good. Better than any other I've made. The secret? Leftover soaked-then-ground almonds, cinnamon, and 3 cardamom pods. Oh yes, and *cough* forgetting it's on the stove while you do your stretching, and then remembering just in time for it to be at the perfect consistency (PHEW).

Comments

[thinktink.livejournal.com]

It was watching AI that set you off! ;)
Actually it's probably the cleanse you are doing. I think any cleanse helps you internally and physically. It's amazing how much our bodies respond to the stuff, aka crap, we put in them. I so wish you were closer! I would drive you crazy talking about cleanses and detox programs!

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

heh, it probably was AI.

but wait, if you're going to talk about cleanses and detoxes all the time, do I *want* to be closer?? :P

Seriously though, how often do you cleanse?

[thinktink.livejournal.com]

I try to do a cleanse at the end of each season - a friend and I did a liver cleanse back at the beginning of March - our personal Spring cleaning! The first few days are rough but at the end I felt so good. I'll probably do another cleanse at the beginning of the summer.

PS - I don't talk about them all the time! But I am interested in the programs people follow.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

Is a liver cleanse the one where you only eat fruit and vegetables for however long? Or did you have have pills and such as well?

We're doing one called "First Cleanse", because a) it's andrew's first cleanse and b) my body is so sensitive, most cleanses tend to give me pain. This one is not giving me pain. It's theoretically gentle, and I would say it is not, but he would say it is.

It's been too long since I did a cleanse - the last one I was on was when I *met* Andrew!

(I'm interested in this stuff too...)

We're still thinking of going raw afterwards... I think we'd just shoot for "high raw" though... always cooking our beans (I truly think that's healthier than just sprouting them), eating sprouted grain bread, and a couple of cooked meals a week.

[thinktink.livejournal.com]

Yes - the liver cleanse is fruit and veggies. I also take some herbal tinctures with it. I'll e-mail you the information when I'm at home and have access to it. I'll have to check out the First Cleanse that you are doing. I'm like you - most of the time they make me feel pretty uncomfortable. The liver cleanse is definitely something to start at home on a weekend since you initally feel blah and it's handy to be at home in case your colon gets a little spastic.
I would love to do more of the raw foods but it's so hard on me. I'm so tired when I get home that the idea of having to do meal preparation kills me.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

yeah, I find raw eating can be pretty heavy on the preparation... when last we went raw, we ate pretty simply, which I prefer. We just always had cut up fruits and veggies, nuts, tons of salads, smoothies and "puddings", and tried the occasional fancy thing on the weekends when I had the time.

I originally got interested in raw through Shazzie (http://www.shazzie.com), who has a transition journal on her site. I found that she eats pretty simply every day, and that made me feel better about my choices when we went raw.

When we went raw before, I loved it, I had so much energy (after about day 5 - I had a sugar withdrawal before that), and I got to eat ALL THE TIME. The biggest thing for me was cravings. Not actual food cravings so much as "going out to eat" cravings. There's a place downtown here that serves raw food only, so we'll be able to try that out... but going only 80% raw will let us go out for occasional food, too. So that should be ok.

I'm SO addicted to going out to eat. We'd save so much money if I could beat that.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

And beans - we had beans on our salads, made hummus, and I like eating chickpeas on their own anyway...

[thinktink.livejournal.com]

I LOVE chickpeas. I always throw a whole bunch of them in my salads. Plus they don't give me gas and that's important! ;)

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

yes! me too!! to both! I *love* them. I'd only eat chickpeas of all the beans in the world, if I could.

mmmmm chickpeas.

[malaka.livejournal.com]

Ok I'm interested in your cleanse Gen. I could never do Lisa's cleanse.. too hardcore for me ;)

How long do you cleanse for?

[thinktink.livejournal.com]

I'll make you a copy of the book I have about the cleanse. Part of it is probably going to scare you but I'm a true believer that it makes you feel so much better after you are done.

[malaka.livejournal.com]

but how do you feel better? I mean, I don't feel bad.

[thinktink.livejournal.com]

I just felt better over all - not as sluggish, more alert mentally, more rested, etc. It's kind of hard to explain. I know some people don't really feel any changes after a cleanse and some feel major changes. I think it depends on what you were putting into your body before the cleanse.

[kirithebrave.livejournal.com]

We had a great time last night (American Idol aside) :)
I totally think that changes in diets and cleanses can cause mood swings. I get the grumpies if my blood sugar is the slightest bit off. It could cause you to be more reactive. Could also be hormonal. I didn't think it was that big a deal, but I tend to be a lot more outwardly expressive than I really feel inside, so what looks like a big blow up is really just a slightly more intense version of me being expressive. I think it is a result of parents ignoring me a lot. So to me that just seemed pretty normal. I have learned to tone it down a bit though because some people who are more introverted and sensitive to loudness or intensity find it kind of uncomfortable.
That talking over me thing really pushes my buttons too though. But usually I have learned that the person doing it is just excited and wanting to contribute and has a slightly less developed sense of patience instead of any kind of overbearing intent. I think it comes with dating youngens :)

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

heh. it totally comes from dating youngens. Unfortunately, my buttons exist from dating non-young-jerks. *sigh*

well, he said it was fine, absolutely fine and didn't bother him at all. he's got thick skin... I think mostly I felt worse cuz I wasn't able to stop it.

I'd like to blame it on the cleanse, but I don't feel right not taking full responsibility for it. it's not like my fish are dying RIGHT NOW, you know? ;)

[kirithebrave.livejournal.com]

LOL
I know, when your fish are dying right now it is pretty urgent.

[malaka.livejournal.com]

Man, I interrupt Richard like that all the time when he's trying to explain something or tell a story. He's just SO BAD at telling stories (he emphasizes things that don't need to be emphasized, does that make sense?) I always feel like one day we're going to argue and he's going to say 'YOU'RE ALWAYS CUTTING ME OFF!!' but I think deep down he wants me to tell the story because I'm just such a good story teller. HEH

I know that has nothing to do with your issue last night but it made me think of my issues, as usual.

As for being productive, I think we just have higher standards. I look around and people's BLANK backyards and wonder how they could live with themselves. They look at mine and can't imagine I did it all myself. Then I really get upset at myself for laying around every night when there is SO MUCH TO DO. Perhaps we're just more efficient when we're doing a task so we get more nonwork time?

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

I like how our issues spark introspection on each other's issues. It feels correct to me. Does that make sense? This is what we SHOULD be doing.

I think I'm a bit all or nothing. So that if I get started, I can ALWAYS find something else to do. And then I never actually give myself relaxing time. Well... I could sit and read but... bad Lisa, I haven't done a, b, or c! I mean, there's ALWAYS something that could be done. I put myself in that mode of "I can't relax until everything is complete", but that pretty much guarantees that I won't get many chances to relax.

I'm learning to find inbetweens...

[sistore.livejournal.com]

I'm really bad about interrupting stu, too. I just get excited and before I know it, words are coming out of my mouth and I'm thinking...ohhh I just did it again. *sigh*

And YUMMM--rice pudding! :P