stress????

[brightbluegirl]

Somethings going on. I don't know why, but my stomach is tense, I've been unable to relax properly, and I had anxiety dreams last night.

Apparently, I'm stressed that when my friend comes back, that she's going to think I cared poorly for her place/cats/fish/plants.

Ugh.

Go AWAY, stress. GO AWAY.

---

About the fish that died earlier:

would you folks

1) buy a new one for them to come back to (and still tell them about it, of course)

or

2) tell them about it and OFFER to buy them a new fish, of whatever kind they want

??

Please help...

Comments

[blowtorch-betty.livejournal.com]

I would get a gift certificate for a nice fish store, that way she could use it to get another fish or to buy stuff for the fish that are left, but it would be her choice.

[zaftigvegan.livejournal.com]

see, that's smart. do that! ^^^

don't be stressed, lisa. knowing you, the place is in tip-top shape and while i can understand why the fishy thing is upsetting, your friend will understand. be kind to yourself!

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

It's actually shocking the hell out of me that I'm stressed about this. This is small fry! My emotions are nearer to the surface right now, I guess.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I don't know of any fish stores around here, or even pet stores, actually. I'm going to do option #2, I think.

[fanlain.livejournal.com]

I would lean closer to 2) because you never know how she'll feel about it. I also like kristan_m's suggestion because it shows that you've taken ownership of it and are letting the decision be hers to make. The problem with 1) is that it would suggest to her that fish are replaceable just like that and she doesn't have a choice in the fish and some fish aren't compatible and you run into a lot more problems than with 2) which could make everything a lot worse.

*hugs* I think it's always hard when it comes to friends and stuff. I lost a hat that chocolatecoffee had loaned me, and I stressed about it for a long time because I didn't want her to be unhappy with me. I don't like friends being unhappy with me. I ended up just telling her what happened and talking to her about it. I still feel bad that I had been accidentally irresponsible.

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's why I like #2 as well. Of course I'd always own up to it - although I'm also going to tell them that it died the day they left, I mean, I didn't kill their fish! It just died on my watch. But I don't want her to feel I'd just replace something willy nilly.

Well, I don't know of any fish or pet stores around here, so I'll just offer to buy her a new one. We'll see how that goes. I don't like friends being unhappy with me either!

[fanlain.livejournal.com]

A good friend would be happy that you took ownership of it. She would have had to deal with the fish's death, whether it was on your watch or hers.

[ambeaux.livejournal.com]

Number 2!

Fish are often frail--most of the fish owners I know are not, at least, surpised/dismayed when one of them dies.

Stress go away!

[rawrin.livejournal.com]

I'm late in the game, but I vote for #2 as well. Fishies die, that's what fishies do. Often. I cry when mine die, but I'm kind of emotional like that even though I know that fishies just up and die for no reason.

[mummoth.livejournal.com]

There is a fish store just down North Road from the mall... Big Al's www.aquariumservices.com

[malaka.livejournal.com]

What kind of fish was it?

This is important for a few reasons, if it was a cheap disposable fish, I doubt they'd care much about it. But if it was a more expensive, carefully selected fish, they would care. My fish are expensive, I do a lot of research before buying them and I buy from only a handful of fish stores (to avoid adding diseases to the tank, which might affect my other expensive fish.) You wouldn't be able to replace one of my fish, not easily anyway (just because I gather my fish not only by breed but I only get that breed from a certain lake in africa and I choose them based on their aggression levels)

I'd just say 'was that fish already dead or did I kill it?' if she says you killed it you can offer to buy her another one.

Basically the fact is that fish usually don't just up and die. They usually show some signs of sickness first. If she didn't notice the fish was sick, then she won't care if it's dead.

[rawrin.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I forgot that some fishies are expensive!

Unfortunately, all my fish except my betta (sick for a week) and my Trout (still swimming) just up and died on me with no warning. :\

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

As far as I can tell, it was a goldfish. Her other two fish are goldfish, only by the time I saw it, it was all grey and fuzzy. They left on Saturday, I found it Sunday morning...

[kirithebrave.livejournal.com]

I am sure it was not your fault that the fish died, so I hope you are not feeling responsible.
Also, I would not encourage the buying of more fish until she does some more research and learns how to take care of the water better.

[e-kick.livejournal.com]

Tough call. I am so sorry this happened on your watch. I would buy them a new fish and tell them about it. I haven't read the other comments so as not to be swayed by other opinions. I hope it all turns out well.

Take deep breaths and relax....

[e-kick.livejournal.com]

Ok..now reading other opinions since I know nothing about fish maybe the gift certificate idea at a pet store is a good one.