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brightbluegirlToday I woke up with ringing in my left ear that was intense.
As in, intensely bad.
I can't figure out where it came from. I wasn't at a club last night, no strange loud sounds, so... however, it seems to have quieted down.
Most of the morning was very un-ok. I couldn't seem to fill my back bike tire correctly, but I had to bike to work anyway. Work made me angry. And I felt like I was going to cry.
Andrew promised he'd show up to make everything ok. Around 2pm he came in to work, wearing a shiny silver sword (he wanted to be my knight in shining armour but didn't have enough tinfoil for armour - so he was my knight in shining sword), and gallantly handed me flowers, and $20 for a sushi dinner. He even bought me chocolate bar.
He is so sweet.
Unfortunately, he's at work and I'm back in a slump. I'm angry, and sad. I'm feeling... I don't know. It will pass. It always does. I just hate how it feels right now.
I went for sushi after work, and read "Ender's Game", and ate ate ate.
I tried a sushi roll that someone at work recommended. It was so rich and greasy that I couldn't finish it.
As I was walking home, I realized that this guy, at work, is into excess. I have him figured out now. Oh sure, he's not 100% figured out, but I have his number. He's into excess. Gluttony in all it's forms. An excess of sex. An excess of being loved. An excess of food. An excess of testosterone.
It's not a bad thing, I just get it now. Get him.
aside
I feel like I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life.
/aside
My mom is definitely coming down for Christmas. And the cat just peed on the couch again. What will I say to my mother when she gets here? Hey, Mom, the couch is just for show, we sit on the floor here?
My friends tell me I'm like a shining star. Kurt calls me Brightness.
But I can't be bright every day.
This could be a reaction to the move here. I *am* far away from everything I knew down there. I hope that's all this is. It's tiring. And there's so much happiness to be had!
I worked on a synopsis of a novel I want to write, today. It was mucho fun. I sent it to my father. It was just the bare bones of the environment and world view that my protagonist will be living in, not even a plot. But god DAMN was it fun.
Hmm. It could even have been the book I was reading. The book was sad. And I always identify with the protagonist, when I'm reading... that, combined with piddly little things, might have done it to me.
Damn my empathy!
At least I'm feeling better, as I type these words.
Cat pee and all.
As in, intensely bad.
I can't figure out where it came from. I wasn't at a club last night, no strange loud sounds, so... however, it seems to have quieted down.
Most of the morning was very un-ok. I couldn't seem to fill my back bike tire correctly, but I had to bike to work anyway. Work made me angry. And I felt like I was going to cry.
Andrew promised he'd show up to make everything ok. Around 2pm he came in to work, wearing a shiny silver sword (he wanted to be my knight in shining armour but didn't have enough tinfoil for armour - so he was my knight in shining sword), and gallantly handed me flowers, and $20 for a sushi dinner. He even bought me chocolate bar.
He is so sweet.
Unfortunately, he's at work and I'm back in a slump. I'm angry, and sad. I'm feeling... I don't know. It will pass. It always does. I just hate how it feels right now.
I went for sushi after work, and read "Ender's Game", and ate ate ate.
I tried a sushi roll that someone at work recommended. It was so rich and greasy that I couldn't finish it.
As I was walking home, I realized that this guy, at work, is into excess. I have him figured out now. Oh sure, he's not 100% figured out, but I have his number. He's into excess. Gluttony in all it's forms. An excess of sex. An excess of being loved. An excess of food. An excess of testosterone.
It's not a bad thing, I just get it now. Get him.
aside
I feel like I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life.
/aside
My mom is definitely coming down for Christmas. And the cat just peed on the couch again. What will I say to my mother when she gets here? Hey, Mom, the couch is just for show, we sit on the floor here?
My friends tell me I'm like a shining star. Kurt calls me Brightness.
But I can't be bright every day.
This could be a reaction to the move here. I *am* far away from everything I knew down there. I hope that's all this is. It's tiring. And there's so much happiness to be had!
I worked on a synopsis of a novel I want to write, today. It was mucho fun. I sent it to my father. It was just the bare bones of the environment and world view that my protagonist will be living in, not even a plot. But god DAMN was it fun.
Hmm. It could even have been the book I was reading. The book was sad. And I always identify with the protagonist, when I'm reading... that, combined with piddly little things, might have done it to me.
Damn my empathy!
At least I'm feeling better, as I type these words.
Cat pee and all.
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