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brightbluegirlWell, I'm back at work. For a slow day, it's been kinda busy. But my friend/manager and I have made plans - he and his wife are coming over on Thursday for dinner and drinks and hanging out. It should be fun.
Of course, it requires some hefty cleaning, but the fun part is I get to make something yummy for dinner. And drinks are going to be home-made pina coladas, with fresh pineapple. Mmmmmmmmmm pina coladas with fresh pineapple.... mmmmmmmmm.
Yesterday was good. I cleaned, I cooked, I spent some time alone. I called my mom and chatted for awhile, and called Cam, too. That was nice, although I was just a little down for both.
I have 2 jobs I'm going to apply to today. Both are in Toronto, both are big companies, both are jobs I may not be qualified for. But that's all I've got, so I'm going to try anyway.
I made salad yesterday for dinner, with greens and peppers and tomato and cucumber and pumpkin seeds and strips of mango, and a tahini/lemon/garlic/ginger dressing. Unfortunately, the greens were extremely bitter, so we didn't enjoy it after all.
We went to Walmart, though, and bought popcorn (I've been wanting popcorn really badly for a couple of weeks now) for me and cheesies for him, and then broke down and got cookies too. And ate a LOT of them. We got low-fat cinnamon graham crackers (good calories) and those Royal Dansk shortbread-ish cookies (you know, the ones people usually get/give for Christmas). Damn my willful soul.
So we ate a lot of cookies. I figured out my calories afterwards, though, and I at least ate only to maintain - I didn't go over. I just didn't eat to lose. :(
The popcorn was VERY satisfying though.
We both had serious problems sleeping last night. I had my usual "wake up at 4am, brain starts feverishly working at 100 miles an hour, body gets tense, things start to hurt, I can't sleep for hours" thing, and he had acid reflux, for the first time since I've known him.
I don't know a whole lot about acid reflux, but the only different thing in his diet that day was the cheesies - we usually get organic natural ones, and these were icky old cheetos cheesies with ingredients we can't pronounce. I wonder if that was the problem?
We were GOING to get up at 6am and play tennis and lift weights before going on our separate ways to work. But when the alarm went off I'd just gotten back to sleep, and I cried, oh how I cried at the idea of getting up. He didn't seem to pleased at the idea either, so we turned off the alarm and cuddled back to sleep for awhile. I drifted in and out of sleep, turning often to check the time so I wouldn't be late for work, once exclaiming at the loudness of "those damn birds", but at 8am we were both feeling much better.
I'm glad we slept in. We'll just have to go for a long walk tonight, and lift weights afterwards. We can do it.
I realized why I get so stressed. I get so stressed because I believe I have total power to affect my reality and environment.
Total power.
Total.
Power.
I really do.
It shows up in my dreams all the time. I'm always a superwoman. Last night I was creating things out of thin air. Just waving my hands and creating what needed to be.
And so if I believe that I have total power to create my future, yet I'm confused at how much of that power is subconscious, then of course I'm going to be extremely stressed about said future.
Of course, it requires some hefty cleaning, but the fun part is I get to make something yummy for dinner. And drinks are going to be home-made pina coladas, with fresh pineapple. Mmmmmmmmmm pina coladas with fresh pineapple.... mmmmmmmmm.
Yesterday was good. I cleaned, I cooked, I spent some time alone. I called my mom and chatted for awhile, and called Cam, too. That was nice, although I was just a little down for both.
I have 2 jobs I'm going to apply to today. Both are in Toronto, both are big companies, both are jobs I may not be qualified for. But that's all I've got, so I'm going to try anyway.
I made salad yesterday for dinner, with greens and peppers and tomato and cucumber and pumpkin seeds and strips of mango, and a tahini/lemon/garlic/ginger dressing. Unfortunately, the greens were extremely bitter, so we didn't enjoy it after all.
We went to Walmart, though, and bought popcorn (I've been wanting popcorn really badly for a couple of weeks now) for me and cheesies for him, and then broke down and got cookies too. And ate a LOT of them. We got low-fat cinnamon graham crackers (good calories) and those Royal Dansk shortbread-ish cookies (you know, the ones people usually get/give for Christmas). Damn my willful soul.
So we ate a lot of cookies. I figured out my calories afterwards, though, and I at least ate only to maintain - I didn't go over. I just didn't eat to lose. :(
The popcorn was VERY satisfying though.
We both had serious problems sleeping last night. I had my usual "wake up at 4am, brain starts feverishly working at 100 miles an hour, body gets tense, things start to hurt, I can't sleep for hours" thing, and he had acid reflux, for the first time since I've known him.
I don't know a whole lot about acid reflux, but the only different thing in his diet that day was the cheesies - we usually get organic natural ones, and these were icky old cheetos cheesies with ingredients we can't pronounce. I wonder if that was the problem?
We were GOING to get up at 6am and play tennis and lift weights before going on our separate ways to work. But when the alarm went off I'd just gotten back to sleep, and I cried, oh how I cried at the idea of getting up. He didn't seem to pleased at the idea either, so we turned off the alarm and cuddled back to sleep for awhile. I drifted in and out of sleep, turning often to check the time so I wouldn't be late for work, once exclaiming at the loudness of "those damn birds", but at 8am we were both feeling much better.
I'm glad we slept in. We'll just have to go for a long walk tonight, and lift weights afterwards. We can do it.
I realized why I get so stressed. I get so stressed because I believe I have total power to affect my reality and environment.
Total power.
Total.
Power.
I really do.
It shows up in my dreams all the time. I'm always a superwoman. Last night I was creating things out of thin air. Just waving my hands and creating what needed to be.
And so if I believe that I have total power to create my future, yet I'm confused at how much of that power is subconscious, then of course I'm going to be extremely stressed about said future.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-12 10:59 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-07-12 11:34 am (UTC)I put:
4 tbsp of tahini
juice of 1 lemon
1/4 c water
1 tsp cayenne
2 cloves of garlic that I roasted and pressed
a piece of ginger as big as my thumb, that I grated
and mixed it up. that was good, but too hot for andrew, I thought, so I added water. but then it was too thin.
So I ended up mixing it half and half with low-fat plain yogurt, which actually worked really well!
Re:
Date: 2003-07-12 01:34 pm (UTC)Huh? You only mixed half of it with low-fat plain yogurt? It sounds really good! I'll have to try it some time.
Re:
Date: 2003-07-12 01:36 pm (UTC)I hope you like it! I was so disappointed with the greens I kind of forgot to think about how the dressing was (it was good).
no subject
Date: 2003-07-13 05:53 pm (UTC)I would never have thought to use it in a salad dressing. I'm glad it came out well! ~ Youmna