birthday weekend #1, and plans
Oct. 20th, 2003 12:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightbluegirlWell, it's 11am already, and I don't know if that means the rest of the day will go quickly, or if it means the rest of the day will drag.
The former, I hope.
My birthday weekend #1 was great!
Andrew did, in fact, propose. He wrote me a song, a beautiful song, and sung it with his hoarse, cold-ridden voice, and it was lovely. It's called "A modest proposal", and it's actually quite personal, but trust me when I say it had lovely cadence and was full of sweetness. I cried just one tear, but that was good enough.
And DUH, of COURSE I said YES. (everyone in my family said "SO, what did you say??" like there was a real question there)
My mom called, I told her, my brother called her later, so she told him, then my brother called my father and told him. So I didn't really have to tell anyone. Andrew still hasn't told his parents though.
So he gave me a Consolidated CD, a book on quilting (huzzah!), a vegan cookbook I've been eyeing (How it all Vegan), Lucky Man (Michael J. Fox's memoirs, which I've wanted to read since they came out), and a GORGEOUS purple dreamcatcher with amethysts in it.
Also for my birthday, he took me to IKEA (on Saturday), and I got a bunch of white candles and some neat-o stars and a nice throw rug for the front door. Then he took me for dinner and we went to see Kill Bill. :D
I enjoyed Kill Bill, but the random violence freaked me out (even with the chop-socky gore, which is funny, not scary), so I was kind of tense when I left the theatre. REALLY glad I saw the movie, though. It's worth seeing. And it had, in parts, the best acting I've ever seen Uma do.
So yesterday I had my big turkey lunch, and it was yuuuuuummmmy. Turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes and mashed turnip and green beans and gravy, and pumpkin pie with whipped cream for dessert. Dinner was leftovers, AND all our meals for the week will be the same, hurrah!!!
This weekend coming is birthday weekend #2. Now THIS is the way to spend a 30th birthday month!
So for our commitment ceremony, we have no interest in going into debt whatsoever. Which leads to problems, of course, since no one is financing this but us.
I know that:
1) I'm going to sew my dress and his jacket
2) We want rings, but we want them cheap ($500 max), NOT gold, and preferably unique.
3) We will get a certificate from a local justice of the peace or whatever, primarily so each family will recognize the union, and also for the tax benefits
4) In the ceremony, no one will give me away (I ain't property!), and no one will be leading the ceremony (no justice of the peace, no minister, nothing. we're the ones choosing to do this, it's our day, that's it)
5) The ceremony itself will be outside during night of a new moon in either July or August 2004, in some beautiful natural place, with lots and lots of white candles. (I can't decide - place the candles in sand on big rocks? Or have everyone holding candles, and have some symbolic lighting of our candles together from another candle? Hmmm)
6) The reception must be mucho cheap. My brother suggested having it at a bar, that a friend of his did that, and they didn't have to pay anything, and they even held a raffle and made some money, but at a bar isn't how I want to start a new phase of my life. My father reminded me that his wedding reception to his now-wife (not my mother) was at his favourite Japanese restaurant. I'd like to find a nice funky cafe and take it over. Actually, I'd prefer to OWN a nice funky cafe and use it for the evening, but that's not for right now, I guess. I know that I don't care about alcohol, so if it's an alcohol free event, I'm fine with that. But I want music. At a bar or cafe, or even our own apartment, music isn't a problem. At a bar or cafe or restaurant, everyone pays their own way, so money isn't a problem.
But I don't know.
Just having a party at our place would be cool, but we don't have all THAT much space, and it could be stressful for the kitties. (every party I've ever had has been stressful on Bear, who gets wound up and cries)
Any brainstorming ideas that people have would be appreciated - we've got time, but I really want this to be special, and I want us to completely own our choices. I don't want to just do a thing just "because that's how it's done" (but then, when do I ever?), so feel free to question EVERYTHING, to make sure I haven't done that somewhere!
Ah yes. And last night I dreamed I was pregnant.
The former, I hope.
My birthday weekend #1 was great!
Andrew did, in fact, propose. He wrote me a song, a beautiful song, and sung it with his hoarse, cold-ridden voice, and it was lovely. It's called "A modest proposal", and it's actually quite personal, but trust me when I say it had lovely cadence and was full of sweetness. I cried just one tear, but that was good enough.
And DUH, of COURSE I said YES. (everyone in my family said "SO, what did you say??" like there was a real question there)
My mom called, I told her, my brother called her later, so she told him, then my brother called my father and told him. So I didn't really have to tell anyone. Andrew still hasn't told his parents though.
So he gave me a Consolidated CD, a book on quilting (huzzah!), a vegan cookbook I've been eyeing (How it all Vegan), Lucky Man (Michael J. Fox's memoirs, which I've wanted to read since they came out), and a GORGEOUS purple dreamcatcher with amethysts in it.
Also for my birthday, he took me to IKEA (on Saturday), and I got a bunch of white candles and some neat-o stars and a nice throw rug for the front door. Then he took me for dinner and we went to see Kill Bill. :D
I enjoyed Kill Bill, but the random violence freaked me out (even with the chop-socky gore, which is funny, not scary), so I was kind of tense when I left the theatre. REALLY glad I saw the movie, though. It's worth seeing. And it had, in parts, the best acting I've ever seen Uma do.
So yesterday I had my big turkey lunch, and it was yuuuuuummmmy. Turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes and mashed turnip and green beans and gravy, and pumpkin pie with whipped cream for dessert. Dinner was leftovers, AND all our meals for the week will be the same, hurrah!!!
This weekend coming is birthday weekend #2. Now THIS is the way to spend a 30th birthday month!
So for our commitment ceremony, we have no interest in going into debt whatsoever. Which leads to problems, of course, since no one is financing this but us.
I know that:
1) I'm going to sew my dress and his jacket
2) We want rings, but we want them cheap ($500 max), NOT gold, and preferably unique.
3) We will get a certificate from a local justice of the peace or whatever, primarily so each family will recognize the union, and also for the tax benefits
4) In the ceremony, no one will give me away (I ain't property!), and no one will be leading the ceremony (no justice of the peace, no minister, nothing. we're the ones choosing to do this, it's our day, that's it)
5) The ceremony itself will be outside during night of a new moon in either July or August 2004, in some beautiful natural place, with lots and lots of white candles. (I can't decide - place the candles in sand on big rocks? Or have everyone holding candles, and have some symbolic lighting of our candles together from another candle? Hmmm)
6) The reception must be mucho cheap. My brother suggested having it at a bar, that a friend of his did that, and they didn't have to pay anything, and they even held a raffle and made some money, but at a bar isn't how I want to start a new phase of my life. My father reminded me that his wedding reception to his now-wife (not my mother) was at his favourite Japanese restaurant. I'd like to find a nice funky cafe and take it over. Actually, I'd prefer to OWN a nice funky cafe and use it for the evening, but that's not for right now, I guess. I know that I don't care about alcohol, so if it's an alcohol free event, I'm fine with that. But I want music. At a bar or cafe, or even our own apartment, music isn't a problem. At a bar or cafe or restaurant, everyone pays their own way, so money isn't a problem.
But I don't know.
Just having a party at our place would be cool, but we don't have all THAT much space, and it could be stressful for the kitties. (every party I've ever had has been stressful on Bear, who gets wound up and cries)
Any brainstorming ideas that people have would be appreciated - we've got time, but I really want this to be special, and I want us to completely own our choices. I don't want to just do a thing just "because that's how it's done" (but then, when do I ever?), so feel free to question EVERYTHING, to make sure I haven't done that somewhere!
Ah yes. And last night I dreamed I was pregnant.
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no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 12:17 pm (UTC)What a great birthday weekend.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 02:19 pm (UTC)Yes, it really was a great birthday weekend - one of the better ones I've ever had, I'd say. :)
WOW!
Date: 2003-10-20 12:21 pm (UTC)Cam >B)
Re: WOW!
Date: 2003-10-20 02:23 pm (UTC)I'll tell you all about it when I see you on Friday!
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 12:40 pm (UTC)I want to get married, if I ever were to get married, in the kimono that Lucy Liu wore in Kill Bill. That dress was soooooooooo awesome.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 02:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 12:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 01:19 pm (UTC)congrats, guys!
as for weddinglyness... i have tonnes of ideas, and a little experience .
-have your rings made by a local jeweller using significant stones. if you go silver or silver-gold, you should be able to score a decent pair of bands for your budget. plus, contributing to the creation process, choosing which stone, etc. 'd be really nice. hound's and my rings were made by a silversmith friend as a wedding gift. super special. or get your rings tattooed. or don't even do rings, do bracelets, or pendants, or something important to you. is the symbolism of the ring important to you? or is the fact that you're exchanging vows enough, and you don't need the physical representation of your commitment?
-you might have to pay a lot of money to get a JoP to come out to an evening ceremony. it might be more worthwhile to have a civil ceremony at a courthouse to do the paperwork, then have your personal magickal ceremony when/where you want. otherwise, befriend someone who can legally perform marriages, and get one done your style. for example, we know a gay knight templar who'll do weddings.
-the candles sound beautiful. passing the light/sharing the light is a lovely symbol. do you believe that there is a font of love from whence we all draw, or is your love created by you two only? that would probably affect how the candle thing would work... i would think that having a central candle from which everyone lights theirs would be nicely symbolic.
-location: if ever you decided to come out east again, you know you have the pharm at your disposal! and i'd gladly cater an event, too. there are so many ways to do the reception thang: sell tickets (that way people commit to coming for certain, and you're not left out of pocket for crashers or no-shows), have a wishing well for contributions (very eastern ontario concept), offer lapdances , rent out a sympathetic restaurant/cafe and let everyone pay their own way...
anyhoo, congrats! plenty of time to plan... hrm. guess we'll have to start saving up airmiles to get you here for a bachelorette party, eh?
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 01:32 pm (UTC)Rings by a local jeweller - absolutely! We actually spoke about rings at length. We decided that an outward symbol of our commitment would be really sweet, (although not necessary for any jealousy reasons, which are nonexistant) but that if it's going to be anything, it's got to be a ring (I don't wear necklaces or bracelets all the time, for example). As far as tattoos go, he's already got a plan to have a tattoo that has to do with me and our children-to-be (the sort of tattoo you keep adding to), so we wanted that to be separate. I've known people who got pierced to symbolize marriage, but I don't have anything else I really want to pierce right now.
We're definitely going to have a civil ceremony at a courthouse or something, and perhaps display the certificate somewhere at the reception. I like the idea of someone else who can legally perform marriages, but I do want our ceremony to have the symbolism of walking into our lives together without some authority telling us it's ok - it's such a personal thing, you know?
I think having a big candle somewhere that everyone lights their candles from could be verry nice. I also think it could be breathtaking to have everyone walk into a clearing and have it already lit up, though. :( I can't decide? Perhaps both? That is, have it lit up with candles, and give everyone candles to light from some central altar candle when they come in, so everyone has a candle AND there's the lit up candles? That's something to ponder. Unfortunately, another problem is that we don't want a fire hazard. I'd have to find out what precautions we'd have to take. And, too, if
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 02:18 pm (UTC)And too, if we're having it outdoors anywhere in B.C in the summer, there would be strict fire hazard warnings and things we'd have to do, which I need to find out about.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 02:17 pm (UTC)One of the first things that Andrew and I decided is that we're going to have the ceremony/reception here. We can't afford to have two (which is what my father suggested, because he doesn't want to spend money to come see me), and we don't want to insult either family (since his family is in BC, and mine in Ontario).
So we just decided that we're going to do it in the province we're living in, and tell each family that's how we decided it.
Otherwise, the pharm would have been perfect. Especially with that new grove I keep hearing about! :( (oooh and curried eggs! and you!)
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 01:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 01:33 pm (UTC)CONGRATS! (dance dance dance)
I think its so sweet what you guys are planning to do and I'm very very happy for you. It *can* be done both cheaply and meaningfully, have faith.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 02:22 pm (UTC)Yes, it's going to be great. I also need it to be as low stress as possible, because I get stressed out so easily, and I DEMAND that this day be low-key, happy, and easy for me.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 06:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 07:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 07:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 08:08 pm (UTC)Let me know what you think of "Lucky Man;" it's been on my wishlist for a while now.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-22 01:24 pm (UTC)It really is a wonderful relationship. One better than I thought was possible, ever, for anyone.
Lucky Man was good. I found it really insightful. It was an easy read, something that I finished the day I got it. But he isn't easy on himself, he's honest about who he was and who he is. It's definitely worth reading.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-21 01:21 am (UTC)i dont have anything to say but random cheering and catcalls and happiness. may you get all the joy the world has to offer showered upon your heads...
-phreeduh
no subject
Date: 2003-10-21 09:15 am (UTC)I don't read LJ for 3 days and look at what I miss!!
Date: 2003-10-21 10:29 am (UTC)Re: I don't read LJ for 3 days and look at what I miss!!
Date: 2003-10-22 01:19 pm (UTC)And here I thought you weren't noting because commitment ceremonys offend you or something. :P
Yay!
Date: 2003-10-21 11:29 am (UTC)-Shannon