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brightbluegirlOoooh I didn't want to get up this morning. That's what happens when I get a day off, it makes me want to laze around.
The thing is, you see, that it takes me at least a day to actually get into lazing mode. I need to do everything that I put off during a regular work week first - like run errands (buy a mop, get new sponges, etc etc), tidy the house, do whatever small home fix ups that are on my list for the week, clean the floor, cook more food to use as lunches, etc etc etc.
And of course there's working out, and yesterday I also worked a couple of hours.
So it's not really a relaxing day, it's much better if I can have two days off.
Knowing that could happen, we did run some errands yesterday, but I didn't clean the house, I barely cooked, and we tried to relax. I did get to have a nap, for example. And my first bath after the tattoo (woohoo for baths!).
But by the evening I was in a really bitchy mood. I was mean and not fun to be around, and I really couldn't point to anything. Maybe it was the angst dream I'd had the night before about our ceremony, maybe it was the fact that when he made me popcorn he demolished the kitchen (Which he doesn't usually do, I admit, and it WAS nice that he made me popcorn), who knows. But I was horrible. I didn't feel good, either. I wasn't happy, wasn't comfortable, just couldn't relax.
Today I'm not really in a good mood either. I don't have any reason - maybe it's just a reaction to the fact that I have been so happy for over a week. Maybe my happy muscles need a break. Heh.
So the night before last I had this dream that Andrew and I were having our ceremony. Andrew was a big black man, and we were having the ceremony in a mall, and there was only one ring, for me, and it encased my finger, we hadn't yet talked about the ceremony, and I was very stressed about it and wanted to talk to him, but he kept leaving me alone to deal just wait, while he went off to do things, as I was 'the little woman', and he 'knew what was best'.
It's funny, because as an angst dream, it's pretty obvious that it's nothing about Andrew. The dream itself made sure the dream Andrew didn't even look like him, much less act like him. But still, I had it.
So for a while yesterday we talked about the ceremony itself, and also how we want things to be set up and stuff. Here's what we've been thinking about:
The Seating:
We don't want a head table. We also don't want a "wedding party" - there will be no best man, no maid of honour, nothing like that. It'll just be he and I. Who do we sit with? If we choose ANYONE, someone will be offended.
My mother is a PROBLEM. She (probably) won't sit at the same table as my father since he's the devil and she's the pure victim (insert HUGE eye rolling here). But if I sit her with my grandparents and Andrew's grandparents, and sit my father and fam with Andrew's parents and fam, she'll feel slighted THAT way. (I'm just going to talk to her about it and ask her where she'd like to sit)
So the seating can be figured out merely by talking to my mother. Except then we STILL don't know where WE would sit.
IF we have seating.
But if we don't have tables and whatnot, what do we do? It will most probably be a buffet style meal, but there are old people who need to sit at a table to eat - it would be lovely to just have a space that has couches and comfy chairs and such, but they wouldn't be able to eat in that scenario.
If we have more than enough tables for everyone, so everyone can just mingle and sit where they'd like, the area will be too big for the cozy feel, and it could also encourage people to stay with those they know.
Ah, problems.
So what novel neat ideas are there instead of this?? There has to be something.
Any ideas?
The ceremony itself:
We're talking about walking in together, washing our hands (to signify washing away our past apart, and moving into the future with clean selves) in a basin. (we're thinking of having a little placard/pamphlet at each table/section/person to explain each symbol and what it means to us)
Then we're going to do a "For Better or For Worse" section, where we each lay our faults out for everyone to see, and for the other person to say "yes, I know you have this" Andrew suggested we have a sort of "duelling conversation", where one person says "I have fault a" and the other person says "you have good thing a" and etc etc etc.
I don't know what I think about that - it may seem almost invalidating of the faults, I can't decide. Perhaps instead, have a 'duelling conversation' where one person says "I have fault a" and the other person says "I have fault b" and etc?
Then we're going to wash each others feet, to symbolize always caring for each other. When we are washing the other persons feet, we say what we adore about the other person. (the washing of the feet has the added benefit of placating the Christians (i.e. his entire family))
Then some sort of commitment speech we each give while placing the rings ("I promise to always try to be better than I am now, I promise to listen to you, to trust you, to hear and respond to your concerns...)
That's all we have right now. I'd only really like it to take 15 minutes or so. I HATE long ceremonies. We also don't want it to be squished full of symbols we don't believe or need. Simple is good. Heartfelt, of course, is important.
What do you think?
The thing is, you see, that it takes me at least a day to actually get into lazing mode. I need to do everything that I put off during a regular work week first - like run errands (buy a mop, get new sponges, etc etc), tidy the house, do whatever small home fix ups that are on my list for the week, clean the floor, cook more food to use as lunches, etc etc etc.
And of course there's working out, and yesterday I also worked a couple of hours.
So it's not really a relaxing day, it's much better if I can have two days off.
Knowing that could happen, we did run some errands yesterday, but I didn't clean the house, I barely cooked, and we tried to relax. I did get to have a nap, for example. And my first bath after the tattoo (woohoo for baths!).
But by the evening I was in a really bitchy mood. I was mean and not fun to be around, and I really couldn't point to anything. Maybe it was the angst dream I'd had the night before about our ceremony, maybe it was the fact that when he made me popcorn he demolished the kitchen (Which he doesn't usually do, I admit, and it WAS nice that he made me popcorn), who knows. But I was horrible. I didn't feel good, either. I wasn't happy, wasn't comfortable, just couldn't relax.
Today I'm not really in a good mood either. I don't have any reason - maybe it's just a reaction to the fact that I have been so happy for over a week. Maybe my happy muscles need a break. Heh.
So the night before last I had this dream that Andrew and I were having our ceremony. Andrew was a big black man, and we were having the ceremony in a mall, and there was only one ring, for me, and it encased my finger, we hadn't yet talked about the ceremony, and I was very stressed about it and wanted to talk to him, but he kept leaving me alone to deal just wait, while he went off to do things, as I was 'the little woman', and he 'knew what was best'.
It's funny, because as an angst dream, it's pretty obvious that it's nothing about Andrew. The dream itself made sure the dream Andrew didn't even look like him, much less act like him. But still, I had it.
So for a while yesterday we talked about the ceremony itself, and also how we want things to be set up and stuff. Here's what we've been thinking about:
The Seating:
We don't want a head table. We also don't want a "wedding party" - there will be no best man, no maid of honour, nothing like that. It'll just be he and I. Who do we sit with? If we choose ANYONE, someone will be offended.
My mother is a PROBLEM. She (probably) won't sit at the same table as my father since he's the devil and she's the pure victim (insert HUGE eye rolling here). But if I sit her with my grandparents and Andrew's grandparents, and sit my father and fam with Andrew's parents and fam, she'll feel slighted THAT way. (I'm just going to talk to her about it and ask her where she'd like to sit)
So the seating can be figured out merely by talking to my mother. Except then we STILL don't know where WE would sit.
IF we have seating.
But if we don't have tables and whatnot, what do we do? It will most probably be a buffet style meal, but there are old people who need to sit at a table to eat - it would be lovely to just have a space that has couches and comfy chairs and such, but they wouldn't be able to eat in that scenario.
If we have more than enough tables for everyone, so everyone can just mingle and sit where they'd like, the area will be too big for the cozy feel, and it could also encourage people to stay with those they know.
Ah, problems.
So what novel neat ideas are there instead of this?? There has to be something.
Any ideas?
The ceremony itself:
We're talking about walking in together, washing our hands (to signify washing away our past apart, and moving into the future with clean selves) in a basin. (we're thinking of having a little placard/pamphlet at each table/section/person to explain each symbol and what it means to us)
Then we're going to do a "For Better or For Worse" section, where we each lay our faults out for everyone to see, and for the other person to say "yes, I know you have this" Andrew suggested we have a sort of "duelling conversation", where one person says "I have fault a" and the other person says "you have good thing a" and etc etc etc.
I don't know what I think about that - it may seem almost invalidating of the faults, I can't decide. Perhaps instead, have a 'duelling conversation' where one person says "I have fault a" and the other person says "I have fault b" and etc?
Then we're going to wash each others feet, to symbolize always caring for each other. When we are washing the other persons feet, we say what we adore about the other person. (the washing of the feet has the added benefit of placating the Christians (i.e. his entire family))
Then some sort of commitment speech we each give while placing the rings ("I promise to always try to be better than I am now, I promise to listen to you, to trust you, to hear and respond to your concerns...)
That's all we have right now. I'd only really like it to take 15 minutes or so. I HATE long ceremonies. We also don't want it to be squished full of symbols we don't believe or need. Simple is good. Heartfelt, of course, is important.
What do you think?
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no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 12:42 pm (UTC)We did a buffet brunch without assigned seating, that solved the whole tables and who do we sit with ordeal. People definitely talked and met those outside their regular group. The old putting disposable cameras on the tables thing actually gets people to mix it up a bit.
Guests still tell my parents (5 years later) what a great time they had at the wedding. When the day reflects your relationship, people know...and they'll enjoy every minute of it.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 02:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-03 01:47 pm (UTC)